Because the world will never take my heart

I shouldn’t be here.

I can’t even remember now the first time I tried to kill myself.

I just know that each time that I tried, I failed.  Once because I didn’t have enough pills, but mostly because something shook me out of it.

When I lost my mum, I was deadly serious in succeeding.  I had enough pills.  I had written a letter to the police telling them what I had done.  I had my will in place, and all the papers for my finances set up in the living room, so I didn’t leave a mess behind.

This time it was over.

I don’t need to explain what got me through it, the picture might be a clue, but I got through it.

I got amazing support from Cruse, I got the right medication, and now I don’t need either.

Today I turn 40.  My 16 year old self would never fucking believe it.


HUGE thanks to Bronson Twine for doing the picture for this post, truth is, I couldn’t have done this justice.  You used to be able to find him at, but mostly you’ll find him on plurk being awesome.

Nails: A.S.S / Black Drama / Black French

Hair: Exile / Evan / Stefani

Skin: Glam Affair / Mokatana / Arctic 07

Outfit:  Kauna / Military Jacket

Eyes / Mayfly / Deep Sky Eyes / Darkest Onyx

Hands: Slink – AvEnhance Hands / Casual

Pose:  PDA / Black Cab

2 thoughts on “Because the world will never take my heart

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